It was rainy, cold, cloudy and grey, not a bird in the sky. Dressed in my leopard onesie with the hood on my head to keep the cold out. I have about 12 onesies, all different types, seriously I wear them everywhere. Yes, folks, stare at me all the time, but I don’t care, I love me some onesies, so comfortable. Some folks even honk their horns saying “Thank you for wearing that”!!! My favorite one is my black panther onesie. My dog bailey loves to follow me around the house, biting, pulling and holding the long black tail in her mouth. It’s great bonding moments for me and my fury little girl. Finally, I make it to Vons supermarket, I sit in the Vons parking lot, reading over my song ideas I was working on before, I go into the store to buy groceries. I notice some pennies in the floor of the car and made a mental note to myself to pick them up once I made it home. My next to the youngest daughter loved collecting pennies and comparing how much they changed over the years. She says even the material has change from cooper to zinc. I don’t know, she’s my middle child, what you want me to say, weird right?
I had to record my ideas before leaving the car, otherwise I would forget them. I grabbed my pen and pad I keep inside my car. My car tends to conjure up many creative ideas, so I’m constantly pulling over, jotting down stuff or recording my voice into my voice recorder from my cellphone. The car feels very warm and toasty, just the way I like it. I even had my butt warmer on which, to me, is the best fucking feeling in the world. I love my car; my car is nice to me. It’s my home away from home.
I am in my groove then, she called. I was so happy, so happy to hear from Suzie. “Hello”, big smile on my face, so glad you called. It’s been a minute since I last saw you. I was just thinking, when I saw your name pop up, “wow”, we’ve come a long way, haven’t we. To think out of all the people in the world, you asked me to officiate your wedding. It just goes to show, if you put your mind to it, anybody can get along. I was thrilled and honored that you asked me.
Before I could get another word in, Suzie, totally blind sighted me, she cut me off. So, Dorothy, I got your book and thought about writing a review on Amazon, “Oh, ok, cool” But, but changed my mind, because “All together now”, I too, am writing a book. “really”. I didn’t want to get into trouble with Amazon. “Trouble”, They might penalize me or block me, when I write my book, “Oh, I see”. You know, they are cracking down on family members and friends writing reviews. “Umm”, I strolled down on your reviews, and 3 people gave you, all fives. If I thought about it and I did, I should give you a lower review to mix it up a little, I mean everybody, gave you a five? Do you know any of them? Are all these people your friends? “Oy Fucking Vey, no” It’s so hard to read your book. Is it fiction or non-fiction? I mean, did this really happen to you, Dorothy, or did you embellish the truth for sales. “What”? Pew, if it did, that’s horrible. I chuckled, I know, “Oy Fucking Vey, hello”, It happened to me. (under my breath). I really tried to read it last night before I went to bed, but if I did, it would give me nightmares, “Really, nightmares” Wow, Suzie, it sounds like you are really struggling with what I wrote, did it trigger something? Well, that and the fact that, you never shared this with me. Why did you keep this from me, I thought we were close, Dorothy? Uh Suzie, this happened over 20 years ago girl. It’s not something that, just pops up in my conversation to talk about. And since we’ve only met 5 years ago, it was like three lifetimes ago. So, Suzie, (changing the subject), tell me, what part of my book made you feel scary? Well, all of it Dorothy!!! “All of it” Dorothy people must really hate you, “What, hate”? I mean, you are so talented. I bet people are like, gosh, now she writes a book? “Suzie, this is not my first book”. (sarcastically) Dorothy sings, she writes songs, she’s write books, she’s a healer, she is doing all of this, while, married, and, with three kids! Geez what else does Dorothy got up her sleeves? What DON’T Dorothy do, it’s like I have to, I mean People have to constantly hear about you doing this, and that, it must really piss people off? I mean it makes me, think about all my stuff I put on the back burner. I need to get busy with my own stuff, “Oy Fucking Vey Suizie”, WTF” Dorothy maybe that’s why people get so mad at you, you have a lot of talent. It’s like, they have to look in the mirror. I mean, I was going to submit your song you did at my wedding to the Steve Harvey show but now I’m not going to anymore because you are over-qualified, it needs to be someone just starting out. I hope you not mad. “Oy, Fucking Vey, stop it”. It’s just not fair, “What, that I’m some type a myth to you?”, you just do it all. I can’t keep up with you, with everything you do. People must really hate you. “Oy Fucking Vey, Suzie”, why, do you say stuff like that.” “I just do, what I do Suzie”, I am not doing anything to compete with anybody”. I am just using the gifts that God gave me. Do you hate me Suzie? Do you? You sound like you are dumping your shit on me or blaming me for your decisions you made for your life. You hate me because, I make you feel, feelings, you wanna forget Suzie? Am I your trigger? Do you have things buried in the backyard like my dog Bailey buries his bones? Do I need to call 911, because you seem to have this ticking bomb in you, that is about to explode? Am I the tick to your bomb Suzie? You know, I think, it’s time for me to get off this phone. “Dorothy”, I was just saying that other people might hate you because you always challenge them by always thinking outside the box. Bye Suzie, no Dorothy wait! “it’s okay, I see you, I see you” “Dorothy please! Hear me out! “I did, loud and clear, there’s something about me that triggers you. We will never be friends because you won’t allow it, it hurts too much, bye, gotta go”, You are taking this the wrong way! No, I am taking it the way you said it, that way you meant it, Suzie and hey, it’s okay, You go do you boo, oh, and congratulation on your, #upandcomngbook, I’m done! Oy fucking vey! -Dorothy Pincus
Comments
Post a Comment